Crying for help.

I am crying. I do not know why. I feel like my life has been messed up for a while, but I just didn't notice. That is why I don't think I have been crying. I feel like it will happen. One day I will be here and the next day I will not. I don't want to try at anything anymore. I hate pressure, but at the same time I love it because it fuels my life. Right now the only reason I am here is to move on. I want to move somewhere, fall in love, and never come back. But I know life is not like that. And anyway I will never find love. I think I have given up on that idea. I have no more will to try to talk to people. No one has liked me before so why would anyone like me now? That is what runs through my mind whenever I consider liking a person. I wish if someone really did like me that they would just say hi. Why can't people understand that is all I want. I want someone I can share my life with, so I will not end up writing these depressing blogs, someone that makes me truly happy.
 I really do feel like a shadow. I give signs but no one sees them. They ask me what I am talking about, or if I am insane. But I am not, I am just confused. No one realizes that I am, but it is true.Sometimes I just think I am crying for help that will never find me.
Holley.