I thought I was getting over him. Today at the mall I actually had fun pointing out attractive specimens. I though that maybe now I could move on and forget about him. Unfortunately I had an urge to text him. One that I have been holding off since the incident. Although it was only about homework, I had to make an excuse. Every time it is about homework. That is my lame way of getting people to talk to me. I may have committed this act of self pity because I am not over him, or because I had a total of one hour of sleep last night. Most likely a bit of both, either way I gave in and I can't take giving up any longer. I want him, I really truly do. My brain is telling me to stay away, but my heart cannot stop thinking of him. Although that is nonsense, hearts can not think. I imagine I stayed up all night because I was thinking of him. He kind of made me feel like I am that true outcast. I mean he doesn't even talk to me anymore. My life is a pathetic version of hell.