As I sit here and think about graduation and college. I have realized I only have three years left. Lately I have been thinking about this a lot, crying about this a lot. But it is really setting in. Three years. Only three. I have so much I want to do, but no enough time. I feel like every week I don't get to be with my friends that I am losing precious time that I will never get back, because after the hats are thrown and the gowns are put away we will never meet again. None of my friends know how deeply this concerns me. I have cried for the past week. I don't want to leave them. They are my life and to know I will only see them for the next three years...I can't take it. I wish I had more time. Half of my friends I almost never hang out with except for at school. I want to change that. I want to see them all the time, because I know that no one will be following me to Arizona State. Tiana and Ashlee have made plans to go to college in Hawaii. Rachel is moving far away. Lydia will go to Montana and find a lumber jack. They are all going places...they will all see each other some day again, but not me. I will be a loner and travel to Arizona by myself. Millie will visit occasionally, but other than that it will just be me. What if I never see Ellie, Abbie, Tiana, Ashley, Taylor, Erika, Desiree, Rachel, ect. ever again!? How am I supposed to walk through the halls and be told that they can't hang out? At the speed time is moving tomorrow might be the last day I get to see them.
I can literally see all of my friends grown up with happy lives, amazing families, and friends. Ashlee and Tiana will be neighbors. Tiana will marry some handsome black lawyer and Ashlee will marry some Gorgeous rich gymnast and they will live in huge mansions and have amazing lives. Rachel will find some beautiful guy that will treat her right and live in a cozy house filled with love. Lydia will live in a log cabin in Montana that over looks a pasture with some hunk of a guy to call her own. They will all have grand lives....but I will not be there to witness them. I will be studying my butt off and living with my parents to try to pay off bills. I will not live a fabulous life and I will never see them again.
Thinking of life without the people that know me best makes me cry.
Three years thats all we have, and we better make the most of it.
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