I might be only be a sophomore in high school, but speaking that I'm a high schooler I think I'm pretty intelligent. I may not be the best at everything, and my grades may be slipping a lot, but I write this blog. I write it for fun and to release frustration when I can't tell anyone else. This blog is my life. This  blog is the story of my life. It contains every secret that I wouldn't wish anyone to have the burden of keeping. I'm not saying that you shouldn't read my blog. I'm just saying do you really want to know everything about a 15 year old loser who sits in her room at night and writes on her blog. Actually to me that person sounds interesting. Anyway back to the topic. I just don't want anyone to have this over my head I don't want anyone to use this as a tactic to make me do something I regret. I know people from my school have found my blog. I know you probably hate me and don't think I deserve to even be expressing my feelings, but this is how I communicate.  If you haven't noticed I'm not very good with words, well in person. Its just when I'm on my blog I feel like I can say or do anything. I feel sort of invincible. I just wish other people would see that too.

Sometimes I wish the concept of Twilight could be real. Honestly sometimes I think it is, although most would say I'm crazy. I just wish that when I get married I can mean my vows, and be with my true love until the end of eternity. Most times I don't think I will even get married, let alone live forever. I feel like even if I met a guy like Edward or Jacob, metaphorically speaking, they wouldn't go for me. I'm not a Bella, but most times it feels like it.

Confusing matters!?!

I felt strange. It was like every nerve in my body was being electrocuted by one persons comfort. I don't know why I fall so easily. I really wish I didn't fall at all, then I wouldn't have so many wounds. I truly was forgetting the tiny ideas I had about him, but now I can't help it. It is like when you get a misquote bite. You try not to itch and irritate your skin, but at the end of the day you cant stop the urge to do so. Right now I really wish the bite would disappear, because I'm trying to piece back together and I don't need another arrow through my heart. While I was sitting in class trying not to let my emotions show all I thought about was him. Why do I have to think about him? Why did I have to be curious for more? Why can't my curiosity reflect within him? When that class was over I basically ran to the door. Then later I saw him again, and I looked away. This time I'm trying not to let anyone, especially him, know how I fell. Maybe ignoring him is the best thing to do, but at the same time he is a good guy and this time I know it's true.

I am finally over him. Although it did take a while. I realized we have no connection. He is just another douche I fell for.
I think I'll give my heart a relapse period this time. I definitely deserve it. Well my heart does. Honestly if one more guy would break my heart I would probably run off and die. Not literally, but you get the picture.
Even thought I really want to give my heart a break, I can't. I feel like a whore...well I guess I could say a feelings whore? Every time I like a guy I always find another one.

I think my life just ended. Her mom read the messages. Someone knows what I did.