Sometimes I question what my life will mean. Will I ever have a family of my own to share my successes and defeats with? I'm beginning to think this wish is impossible. I am a curse. Most people just think they have bad luck with dating and their lives, but really my life has put me through hell since my Grandpa died. I've made one mistake after another and I don't know why these opportunities continually arise. What I don't understand even  more is why I keep making the wrong choice.
There is a guy. The sweetest most gentle guy I have ever met. He cares so much about everything. He is smart and funny, and I have never felt this way for anyone else. Yet somehow I continually ruin all chances of being with him. I get nervous and awkward and try not to stare at him. I'm beginning to think that this will never happen, and that kills me. Maybe if I just drop off the face of the planet everything will be better.